i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
