Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
