dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Two words: nipple clamps
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
