its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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