she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
