Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
