girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
