New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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