I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
birth control should be required to get into college
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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