he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
