Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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