Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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