So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
