HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
