My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Randomize
