Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
