sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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