I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just gargled with NyQuil
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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