we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize