Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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