Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize