i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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