i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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