I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
