So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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