Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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