If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Randomize
