Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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