So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
