I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
