Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
