I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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