the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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