He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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