Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
farters have to be the big spoon...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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