So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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