This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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