Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
