Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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