She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
