I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
