Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
