i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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