bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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