Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
