O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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