strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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