I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
