I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
