so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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