He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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