Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
