Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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