Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
