I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
