Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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