You're so nebulous sometimes
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
