I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
