I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
