wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize