Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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