he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
