Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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