I want to have your abortion
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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