please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
