Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
thus making me awesome and them whores
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
